Goodbye Robin

8/11/2014

I have never written about Robin Williams here. I would never be able to find the time to talk about everyone who ever made me happy. But Robin has been here my whole life in some way or another. I would never go too long without hearing about him or seeing something he was in, most often Mrs. Doubtfire and The Birdcage. If I heard his voice down the hall, I would drop what I was doing to go watch. He would always have me in fits of laughter, and he was also terrific at being serious. I kept tuning into the uneven The Crazy Ones because of him, his gleeful ridiculousness so infectious. I hate that the first time I mention how much joy he brought is on the day he left us. Just this past Friday, out of nowhere I thought of a random nature program that I happened to see late in the night a long time ago. I had stayed up for it because Robin Williams was swimming with dolphins, and he was always a treat. I found it on YouTube and it reminded me that I was glad he existed.

Saw this once 20 years ago, yet @robinwilliams popped into my head saying "maybe he was picking up my heartbeat." http://t.co/74uKhuvUB6

— Erin Bates (@Reinbeast) August 9, 2014

It hurts to think that heart is no longer beating. It's awful to learn that someone so manically funny was profoundly sad. Worse than that is that people who knew him thought of him as a warm, sweet guy, as anyone who'd ever seen him perform could genuinely feel. Then there are insensitive people who make light of (apparent) suicide, which I haven't actually seen yet about this particular situation but have about others, or those who can't believe the outpouring of emotion when the rest of the world is suffering, too, as if we should ignore what happened or not care because it was just one man. It astounds me to think that those people don't understand that he has been in our lives for decades. He was a human being and, as a human being myself, I know I can feel more than one loss at the same time. All the tweets not only show love and respect, but they also shine a light on depression, something so many people live with until they can't.

If you're in a similar situation, don't go down the same path. Please reach out to someone.

Suicide Prevention Lifeline